Dear Remi,
Listening to Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You
” takes me back to a love that never had the chance to bloom. It wasn’t a situationship; it was a fleeting moment that left a lasting impact on my heart. As I speak of him in the past tense, I realize how difficult it is to let go of something that was never truly mine.
I vividly remember trying not to breathe him in too deeply, fearing his scent would linger in every corner. His warmth against my skin, the touch of his fingertips on my back, and the way he made me smile with just a glance are memories etched in my mind. How do I erase these moments from my being?
His laughter, the tenderness in his gaze, and the comfort of knowing he prayed for me all make it harder to move on from what could have been. Our love existed as a beautiful possibility, yet it felt so real that it seems like a loss worth grieving.
If he were to write about me, would he capture the essence of who we could have been? Would he remember the scent of my perfume or our intimate moments filled with laughter and affection? Would he express how much being in each other’s arms meant to us both?
We envisioned a relationship built on mutual support and unwavering love—a partnership centered around faith and joy. But fate had other plans for us; our paths diverged before we could fully explore what could have been.
Sometimes, when I’m alone with my thoughts, emotions overwhelm me—moments of happiness mingling with tears of longing. The bittersweet memories we shared feel precious and personal, something I want to safeguard from fading away.
Despite the pain of letting go, there is solace in knowing that our connection was special and meaningful. His words echo in my mind: “
You are special. You will always be special.” Those assurances bring both comfort and yearning for what might have been.
As I grapple with acceptance and unanswered questions about why things unfolded as they did, I find myself pondering if love can indeed be thwarted by scientific forces beyond our control.
In this journey of reflection and healing, I hold onto our memories tightly, cherishing them as sacred remnants of an unfulfilled chapter in my life. Though our story may remain unfinished, its significance endures within me.
With heartfelt reminiscence,
Laura Nnamdi
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